Walks down memory lane never end pleasantly for me. When I think about my past, I get pretty dang upset. I made a lot of mistakes. Hurt a lot of nice people. Wasted years living for myself instead of for God. I still do the same thing unfortunately. But I'm trying. I really am. I hate it when people say I'm not. I hate hearing people say that I'm regressing when I'm trying so hard to move forward. I hate it how you feel like you have authority to judge my walk with God when you don't know me at all. I hate that I hate all these things too. I'm way more upset than I should be. I realize this. Giving everything to God and letting Him deal with it and tell me what I should be doing is obviously the best path. Unfortunately I'm sticking myself in a stupid little closed off purgatory of sorts, pissed off at an ex best friend, not listening to what our gracious and amazing heavenly Father has to say about the matter. I'm dumb. The fact that I recognize it makes it that much worse too. I'm putting it on my terms, trying to do this myself when that NEVER ends well. Dang. Am I upset? Yes. I think that's pretty freaking clear from the note. Not just about me though. It upsets the second best friend I've ever had (Jesus is numero uno dude :] ). He got brought into it and I can't stand seeing him upset. Ranting over. I'm not thinking about this anymore, it's in God's hands. I've been writing in this a lot recently. Too bad nobody else does haha. | 
